I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
