May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
