I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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