Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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