"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
