I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
