I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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