I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
