dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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