do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
