and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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