do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
