Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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