Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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