My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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