It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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