3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
