i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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