No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
