A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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