i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
