Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
