Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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