so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
