yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
