She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
