The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
