..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
