i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
