Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
