Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
