You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
