bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
