I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
you made out with another girl for some wings
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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