Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
