i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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