so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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