I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
