Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
