There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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