That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
