Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
