dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
