I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
