"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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