I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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