are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Everclear isn't food dammit
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
