You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
