Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
