at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
