I wish I only lived at night.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
