All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
