PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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