i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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