I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
