Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
