Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
