so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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