when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
