Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
