She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
