there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
