fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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