I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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