So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
